Dear God,

Dear God,

I miss my son so much. 

My first instinct is to ask a bunch of questions. The main one:

Why not me; why not my life instead of Cameron's?

Lord, you know I would have gladly given up my life in the place of my son. But this letter isn't about that...

Dear God, You have my attention.

God, thank You for being with me every step of the way. From January 17, 2013, the moment I found out, until today; now. For tomorrow and the day after, the months and years after that, thank You Lord. For grabbing me by the hand and preparing me for what was about to come. For the warnings, for the preparations.  Thank You for directing me to the decisions you helped me make when I had no clue, thank You.
Thank You for wisdom.

For opening my ears to hear Your voice and listen to Your word, thank You Lord. For brightening my eyes and widening my vision to follow your word. Thank You. For giving me a heart to receive and let someone, Cameron, in, thank You so much Lord.
Thank You for using Cameron as a way for me to get closer to You. 


Thank You Lord for being with me that day; those days. Thank You for Your grace, mercy, love and protection in the room on that raw day. Thank You for loving me, when, on June 7, 2013, I stopped loving You. For laboring nearly 25 hours then giving me the strength to push my baby, my son, Cameron, from my unmedicated body. Lord thank You for no complications, no defects, no accidents. Thank You for allowing me to see my child at peace. Thank You for all 17 hours I had to be with him. For carving my beautiful Cameron in Your image. Thank You Lord that my son is in no more pain, that he is no longer suffering, that he is with you! Thank you for giving me the power to leave the hospital empty handed, hurt, broken and afraid. 
Thank You for strength. 

For removing the numbest I held in my heart; for giving me bravery when I didn't want to be brave. For giving me the will to get out of bed day after day after day Lord thank You. For not allowing me to sink into a deep depression; for comforting me every night I cried myself to sleep. Thank You Lord for giving me rest and releasing the tension that often caused me to be restless. 
Thank You for comfort. 

For my friends and family who never stopped praying for me. For the hugs and kisses from strangers and nonstrangers. For a loving church family who interceeded for me and my blood family. Thank you. For the support and love from my coworkers.  For blessing me with such an awesome mother who sacrifices so much so that Cameron and I could have. Thank You Lord.
Thank You for Family.

Thank You for wiping every tear. For guiding my every step. Thank You for giving me a reason to live.  Thank You Lord God for getting me this far; for getting me over the many road blocks I have encountered. Thank You for grabbing me by the hand; for reminding me that I'm never alone. Thank You for maturing my patience and maturing my faith. I trust you. Thank You for building and molding me over the pass 4 months into the complete woman You intend for me to become. Thank You for saving me. Thank You for Your purpose.
Thank you for making me a mother. 

To say embarking on this path is easy would be a lie. This is hard. This is the toughest trial of my life, but I'm so glad that I know You...and I have a lot to thank You for.

شكرا لك, Merci, BENIGNE FACIS, Спасибо, Obrigado, salamat, Danke, 

ありがとうございました, Tack, ¡gracias, Thank You

Dear God, I'm listening. 

Love, 

Domonique