Thank You

Dear Cameron,

Thank you.

Thank you for everything you have taught me and the things you continue to teach me. I have learned more about myself from you in 25 weeks than I have in 23 years.

Cameron, thank you for showing me what love is; what the love for my child is.
My love is kind, sacrificing, and selfless. My love is unconditional. You revealed to me the true meaning of a mother's love, how to get to it, and how to express it. You helped me open my heart in a way I never imagined, say things I never imagined saying, and do things without thinking twice. Thank you Cam for allowing me to put you first, to put your needs before my own. Thank you for allowing me to alter my life willingly in a way that would be pleasing and wonderful for you. Thank you for reminding me that you are loved, even now, in your "absence". And thank you for loving me back.

Thank you Cameron for teaching me patience.
Thank you for helping me take one day at a time, enjoying the simple things and looking forward to the days ahead. Thank you for revealing to me the value of even the smallest moments such as hearing your heart beat for the first time, buying your very first "I love mommy" onesie, hour long naps with you, and feeling your strong kicks and movements daily. Thank you for that and thank you for reminding me to never take that for granted. Thank you for revealing to me the value of a life.

Cam, thank you for teaching me compassion.
Thank you for the understanding I have gained. The compassion and understanding I have for other mothers and fathers who are experiencing the same aching pain I am experiencing. Thank you for that. Thank you for helping me to never look at a young child or a baby the same way ever again. Never again will I ever look at a child crying the same way. I will never complain about a baby's cries. Instead, I will imagine how yours would have sounded. Thank you for this compassionate spirit. It was not given in vain.

Thank you Cameron for drawing me closer to God.
Thank you for reminding me that even when my back is up against the wall, to continue to trust God. Thank you for letting me know the end is better, greater and more powerful than the beginning. Thank you for being my testimony. Thank you Cam for reminding me that God is the giver of life. It is only because of God that you were ever here. That it was only because of Him that I knew you, I mean, know you Cameron. Thank you for helping me seek out the Lord in the midst of my storm; in the midst of the hardest trial I am going through in my life. To continue to count on God, to continue to trust God. Thank you for letting me know I'm not alone. Thank you for reminding me that although this path, this journey, may seem hard, I am strong enough to bare it and to never dismiss God if I come to a road block along the way. Thank you Cameron for reminding me that God and you never left me; that God continues to keep me. That I am safe in his hands and that you are safe in his arms.

I'm thankful for the time I spent with you, getting to know you. It was the greatest 25 weeks of my life. I wouldn't trade that in for anything. I'm proud to be your mother. It was, I mean is, truly an honor. I'm glad God saw that I am the best candidate for you. I would do it all over again, the same way, a million times more if asked. 

You were, I mean, you are worth it.

I can't wait to see you again baby.


I love you.

Love Always,

Mommy